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May 02, 2005
If you don't love it, there's really no point
Last Thursday was turning into a savagely challenging day. My 9am appointment turned into a 10:20 and you can pretty much guess the rest from there. My 10am photo shoot for my new listing turned into a 2:30 and my 2pm went until 5. I-581 decided to come to a frustrating stop and I needed to get back from Harrisburg and go see The Child at College. Calgon take me away!
Thank God for my friends. I have a friend who sells for Ford. I have been crushing on a 50th Aniversary Ford Thunderbird in the loveliest pearl frost golden mink color. Today's it. I'm ready. I veer off the overcrowded expressway exchange and thread the needle over to his dealership. Tad gets me the keys and a temporary tag and we are off through the backroads on a fine early spring evening. Now I have people to see and things to do, but I need a new car.
Here's the thing. The day was great. The open road was great. Spending time with a friend who can sell you the car of your current ache is a big plus, but something was off kilter. I didn't know it, but I didn't love the car. It didn't drive the way a sports car does. I didn't feel all juiced up over it, but the car was cute and the price was right and I had buying a thunderbird as my goal.
I am still going to buy the car at that point. I am a "make a decision and commit to it" kind of person. Something is a disconnect, however and I cannot figure out what. I tell Tad, "give me a day," and I'm back on the quest to visit The Child at College.
The Child and I bond-drink-talk-laugh and the rest of my late evening is joy and emotion. The loitering and long drive home puts me in a thoughtful mood. My ah-ha moment? If you don't love it, there's really no point. That's why the t-bird wasn't happening for me. ANYbody should love a new car and a new sports car should be the bees knees for anybody. The car still made sense for me to buy, but my heart just wasn't in it. Here's the thing. I never make decisions from my heart. I think things through. I think things to death and I don't take into account how I feel at all. Mostly, I don't know how I feel. Clueless. Didn't realize why the disconnect while out driving.
It took a car to make me realize that if you don't love it, it's just not worth it. How many decisions in my life have I ignored how I felt and just done what was planned? Why now am I able to see that feeling is a part of knowing in just the biggest of ways?
Sometimes the big lessons in life come from unexpected teachers.
Posted by alice at 01:30 AM | Comments (0)